The Onion Movie

Status:
Released
Production:
The Onion
Aired:
2008-05-31
The Onion Movie
Venerable newscaster Norm Archer reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment - such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing "Neckbelts" and a study finding that "depression hits losers hardest". This compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits come courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion.
Comedy
Characters

Len Cariou
Norm Archer

Steven Seagal
Cock Puncher

Larissa Laskin
Dana Dobbs

Ken Takemoto
Sensei

Don McManus
Dennis McCormick

Michael Bolton
Michael Bolton

Ahmed Ahmed
Ahmed

Brendan Fletcher
White Black Guy Tim

Daniel Dae Kim
Ivy Leaguer

Meredith Baxter
Cooking Show Chef

Jed Rees
Wizard Proteus

Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield
Ahmed B. Badran
Peruvian

Brian Powell
Typical Neighbor Husband

Scott Klace
Kip Kendall

Barbara Pilavin
Alzheimers Old Lady

Sandy Kenyon
Alzheimers Guy in Crowd

Orlando Seale
Producer

Erik Stolhanske
Producer

Sarah McElligott
Melissa Cherry

Randy Oglesby
Surgeon General

Kwame Boateng
Dibo

Richard Fancy
Kenneth Garber

Alex Solowitz
The Masses

Savannah Haske
Rapist Lisa

Rebecca Lowman
Rape Victim Julie

Jim Gleason
Steel Beam Architect

Michael Harney
Line-Up Detective

Angel Cassidy
Porn Star

Gauge
Porn Star

Robert Hoffman
Lollipop Love Dancer

Joel McHale
Office Worker

Harry Shum Jr.
Lollipop Love Dancer

Kevin Federline
Lollipop Love Dancer

Bo Barrett
Wigger Jim

Chrissy Metz
Heavy Girl

Marshall Manesh
Announcer

Greg Cipes
Hippie Diplomant

Nick Chinlund
Bryce Brand

Jim Rash
Bryce's Manager

Paul Scheer
Bates Computer Salesman Dirk

John Viener
Peen Out Guy

Gedde Watanabe
James Nakatami
Chris Villa
Gay Guy

Michael Delaney
Gil Bates